Well, i was looking forward to being social and Hanging out with peoples plus Julia, But Julia is sick, therefore being appropriatly antisocial, so Me, veganboy and chickie decided to go play at a playground instead and played on the swings for a awhile, then decided they were hungry, and veganboy wanted morrocan food (which is like $35 a person) and he said he wanted it so bad he'd pay for us. we tried to convince him he wanted ethiopean (sp?) food, but to no avail. the food was yummy and there was a belly dancer (Yum!, Double Yum!)

I re did my taxes today so i'll actually get a refund, good good.. Now i just gotta decide what to do with it.. I have too many things i want to buy with it...

Having that feeling like things are going okay for a change, and that means something really bad is gonna happen or that i don't deserve the okayish life i'm having, pending my mood at the time. being generally blah. wondering if i'm perciving things all wrong. if things i think are going well arn't. thinking about how things could have been If.. If's suck... I really hate If's...

I have so many what if's right now.. and a lot of them are based on romance/relationship type crap. what if i hadn't broken up with soandso. What if i'm in over my head. what if i had never met soandso other person.

I've just been through so much BS, i think that's why i just avoided it all for 2 years or so... plus i've changed so much in that time.. i've just kinda downward spiraled into this self loathing attiude about this stuff, i want to have things be all cutesy and sweet and romantic, but i really feel like i'm this piece of filthy trash that no one would want sometimes, most of the time.

whine:

Being sick, other people being sick.

I hate dr's and i have to go in soon for some biopsy crap, and i don't want to cuz it hurts damnit!

Sorry i have nothing to be cheery about today.

Whine:

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