Been Writing here a lot. Nothing else to do, really.

Stayed up very late last night, talking to lokifox about stuff. Very tired this morning. I did not get to sleep untill near 4am, and woke at 9 due to toddling monster screams. tried to sleep more after they left, but now the gardeners are here. I can always nap later. The conversation itself left me tired in a way, and with a mixture of happiness and saddness. My own self doubts Cloud how I feel and my perceptions. My negative side wants to tell me that there must be something wrong with me, or that i did something wrong. Rational side says that's silly, you can't control how a person ends up feeling about you. I would like Things to be different, even though i am happy where they are. I have a very good friend. I Hope that with time, things might end up how i wish, but I do doubt it a lot. It's a small hope, not an expectation.

you would think after talking about this all night i'd be done :P

I know that we are in some fuzzy place between friend and mate. But that damn negative side of me wants to keep telling me it's closer to friend than i think, as far as his feelings go.

So what side do i listen to? Listening to them all only works ot some degree...

anyways, okay, i will stop for now. I sound so sad and depressed, which is annoying, because i'm not. It's just these things are in my head, somewhere, but they don't really make me unhappy, because i am finding joy in what i do have, and not pineing (sp?) over what i don't and can't have. even if i do end up voicing about it a lot, it's comparativly small to everything else...

I am being sad a bit over the general fact that no one i am around right now really feels like a mate to me. i've been thinking about that a lot recently....

My Ursas stuffies came apart last night. there were two strings holding them together, and the first broke the other day, and the other broke last night. I am afraid of losing the small one now... :P Hopefully this is not some sort of Portent :P

whine:

I'm dwelling over this too much, though in some good ways too...

allergies.

gardeners

cheer:

Lokifox, even if it's his fault i stayed up so late and that i'm thinking so much :P

Good dreams, even if the only thing you remember is the wispy feeling hat they were good dreams.

Bookitty.

Dr. pepper.

Hugs.

now playing: weird al - various stuff, MTX - songs about girls.

Whine:

Cheer:

Now Playing: �

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